tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-139681082011-04-21T22:20:18.526-07:00tejuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16232543371330663502noreply@blogger.comBlogger31100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13968108.post-1121055972249515632005-07-10T20:59:00.000-07:002005-07-10T21:26:12.253-07:00I was going through some of my old mails in my gmail inbox and found this interesting audio clip... One of the most hilarious ones I have ever heard... Its this really deep gruff voice....<br /><br />Perhaps one of the most interesting words in the English language today is the word <strong>F**K</strong>.<br />Out of all the English words that begin with the letter F, f**k is the only word that is referred to as the F-word. It is the one magical word. Just by its sound it can describe pain, pleasure, hate and love. F**k as most words in the English language is derived from German, the word <strong>Frickin</strong> which means to strike. In English f**k falls into <strong>many grammatical categories.<br /><br /></strong>As a <strong>transitive</strong> <strong>verb</strong> for instance- John f**ked Sherly.<br />As an <strong>intransitive</strong> <strong>verb</strong>- Sherly f**ks.<br /><br />Its meaning isn’t always sexual.<br />It can be used as an <strong>adjective</strong> such as John is doing all the f**king work.<br />As part of an <strong>adverb</strong>- Sherly talks too f**king much.<br />As an <strong>adverb</strong> enhancing an <strong>adjective</strong>- Sherly is f**king beautiful.<br />As a <strong>noun</strong> - I don’t give a f**k.<br />As part of a <strong>word</strong> - Abso-f**king-lutely or in-f**king-credible.<br />And as almost every word in a <strong>sentence</strong>- F**k the f**king f**kers.<br /><br />But you must realize that there aren’t too many words with the versatility of f**k as in these examples describing situations such as<br /><strong>Fraud</strong> - I got f**ked in the used car lot.<br /><strong>Dismay</strong> - Aaahh f**k it.<br /><strong>Trouble</strong> - I guess i am really f**ked now??<br /><strong>Aggression</strong> - Don’t f**k with me buddy.<br /><strong>Difficulty</strong> - I don’t understand this f**king question??<br /><strong>Inquiry</strong> – Who the f**k was that??<br /><strong>Dissatisfaction</strong> - I don’t like what the f**k is going on here.<br /><strong>Incompetence</strong> - He is a f**k off..<br /><strong>Dismissal</strong> - Why don’t you go out side and f**k yourself.<br /> I am sure you can think of many more examples. With all this multipurpose applications how can anyone be offended when you use the word? We say use this unique flexible word more often in your daily speech. It will identify the quality of your character immediately. Say it loudly and proudly "<strong><strong>FUCK YOU</strong></strong>"....... :)<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13968108-112105597224951563?l=teju230981.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>tejuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16232543371330663502noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13968108.post-1120162432854525072005-06-30T13:05:00.000-07:002005-06-30T13:13:52.860-07:00It has been known for many years that sex was good exercise, but until now nobody had made a scientific study of the number of calories you would burn while performing different sexual activities. Now after "original and proprietary" research they are proud to present the results.<br /><br />REMOVING HER CLOTHES:<br /><br />With her consent...........12 Calories<br />Without her consent......2187 Calories<br /><br />OPENING HER BRA:<br /><br />With both hands...............8 Calories<br />With one hand..............12 Calories<br />With your teeth............485 Calories<br /><br />PUTTING ON A CONDOM:<br /><br />With an erection..............6 Calories<br />Without an erection........3315 Calories<br /><br />POSITIONS:<br /><br />Missionary............12 Calories<br />69 lying down.............78 Calories<br />69 standing up............812 Calories<br />Wheelbarrow..............216 Calories<br />Doggy Style............326 Calories<br />Italian chandelier............2912 Calories<br /><br />ORGASMS:<br /><br />Real..............112 Calories<br />Fake..............1315 Calories<br /><br /><br />POST ORGASM:<br /><br />Lying in bed hugging...........18 Calories<br />Getting up immediately........36 Calories<br />Explaining why you got out of bed immediately..........816 Calories<br /><br />GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:<br /><br />If you are:20-29 years..............36 Calories<br />30-39 years............80 Calories<br />40-49 years...........124 Calories<br />50-59 years...........1972 Calories<br />60-69 years..........7916 Calories<br />70 and over...What you kidding me??<br /><br />DRESSING AFTERWARDS:<br /><br />Calmly.................32 Calories<br />In a hurry.............98 Calories<br />With her father knocking at the door..............5218 Calories<br />With your wife knocking at the door.............13,521 Calories<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13968108-112016243285452507?l=teju230981.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>tejuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16232543371330663502noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13968108.post-1119785755255588932005-06-26T04:31:00.000-07:002005-06-26T04:38:10.310-07:00Conversation 1<br />-----------------------<br />Boyfriend is sleeping peacefully and Girlfriend calls in the middle of the night...<br />BF: Hello??? What happened???<br />GF(crying): Hello sob...sob...<br />BF: What happened??? Why are you crying????<br />GF: Nothing happened....<br /><br />Then for what joy are you crying??? You wake BF up and then say you are crying for no reason... What a pain in the neck GF can be sometimes... Wait it gets better...<br />GF: lkjs.. sob... kjdfhksjd... Sob.. dfhglksjhg.. Sob..!!! Sob... Sob...<br />BF is too drowsy to understand what she said... More over with a hundred sobs in between each F**king word even the most sophisticated speech recognition system wouldn't make sense of what GF said...<br />BF: What??? What?? I didnt get you???<br />GF: lkjs.. sob... kjdfhksjd... Sob.. dfhglksjhg.. Sob..!!! Sob... Sob...<br />BF: What??? What?? Speak properly I am not able to get what you are saying???<br />GF: You are not paying enough attention.. Probably you dont want to talk me!!! You dont love me anymore, do you??<br />Aaaarrrrrghgghhhh!! Poor BF.. She must have woken him up when he was dreaming about scoring with Nicole Kidman (Kanishka read that as Arjun)....<br /><br />Conversation 2<br />---------------------<br />Friend 1: Machcha where are you going????<br />Friend 2: Outside...<br /><br />Like Friend 1 couldnt see that...<br /><br />Friend 1: Yeah machcha... Where outside????<br />Friend 2: Here only some where.....<br />Aaaaaaargggghhhh<br /><br />Conversation 3<br />--------------------<br />You go out with one of your friends' hot GF to party... She invites you home for some hanky panky... Wow.... You go home and make out... You are lying there naked with her on the bed.... In a moment you are gonna score with this hottie...<br />Hot chick: Am I a bad person??? I dont want you to think that I am cheating on my BF...<br />Aaaaarrrrggghhhh!!! What else are you doing??? Making a gift to surprise him on his birthday!!! Sheeeessshh...<br /><br />Conversation 4<br />--------------------<br />This is a nice one. A must read for Arjun!!!!<br /><br />Loser 1 : Machcha why dont you eat chicken????<br />Loser 2: Machcha I dont like to hurt the chicken... I can see the chicken suffering when I am eating it....<br />Aaaaaarrgggghhh... What about plants dont they have life in them????? How the hell can you eat them being so ignorant in life???<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13968108-111978575525558893?l=teju230981.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>tejuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16232543371330663502noreply@blogger.com8